Obsession...

Hello everyone :)

Another week has come and gone! Countdown to the Big ‘C’ had well and truly began!

So my week was eh somewhat of a blur! After the 2lb gain last Thursday *Thank you Mother Nature* I was a little mmm…how do I say…OBSESSED!

Something has happened me in the past few weeks, I have become obsessed about getting to WW goal (and oddly enough the WW goal isn't even my own personal goal, that one is 10lbs lighter again) and I mean genuinely obsessed. And it isn’t healthy! Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not starving myself or anything like that quite the contrary, I’m using all my dailies & weeklies BUT I’m pushing myself exercise wise maybe a little too crazy….crazy enough for me not to have a day off to rest and recover!

I love exercise, I love doing something every day, I adore Zumba and you’ll always find me at the top of the class giving it my all (and all the jiggly bits flying left right and centre).

But this week was different. I had an extra day to exercise as I weighed in earlier than usual last week.So my week was consumed with: Spin/Core, 20-20-20, Zumba Masterclass, 5km jog, Zumba, CardioBells & Personal training session, Zumba, Spin/Core & Personal training session.

Some people may not think it is a lot *seriously I hope not though* but I think I need to take a step back and RELAX! I’m going to wear myself out especially as I’m voluntarily working in a Primary School as a substitute while completing my degree in Primary Teaching which includes sooo much study!

I need to prioritize a bit more. In today’s class we spoke about having more ‘me’ time and putting WW first. I personally think I need to do a little bit of the opposite and maybe put a few more things not ahead of WW so to speak but on level footing because my study should come first closely followed by my health and if I’m being honest my body is aching all week, my back is giving me lots of trouble. I need to cop on abit!

*this is what I need to learn to do*

So after the week of fun I had my weigh in this morning and I was down 1.5lb. Now in any given week if I was to be down 1.5lb I’d be over the moon but today, not so much! Yes yes silly Grá be happy with the loss! What I was hoping and praying for was a loss of 2.5lbs which would have cleared up ‘’that’’ gain and also given me an extra 0.5lb for this week! My leader Tracey completely understood me when I told her and I love how she didn’t chastise me over it!

I left my meeting with mixed emotions. On one hand I was delighted to be down and 9lbs from goal but on the other hand I was annoyed and felt that maybe I could have pushed myself more this week *I know crazy right as I don’t think I could push myself anymore*. 

I got in the car and had to pop to the doctors *problem with my foot* and I ended up having a kind of an argument with my boyfriend (who lives in the Netherlands) all over my inability to move on from the fact I had not lost 2lbs this week. I have a great boyfriend who is always there to offer support and motivation which he did especially well last week after the gain. But see Gráinne doesn’t like to be told things which are common sense like ‘it isn’t the end of the world you had a great loss this week’ I snap in defensive mode and get a little smart which of course I regret ten minutes later when it is a little too late! Anyway after this happened I got the mini wake up call I needed to get me to cop on a little bit more and also CHILLAX like ‘Gráinne for god sake you have 5st 3lbs lost! You’re 22, the world is at your feet, you ain’t no big fat ass girl no more, even at Zumba you probably look like you know what you’re doing’ *this would be along the lines of what I was telling myself, think I may have looked crazzzy if anyone saw me :P ).

So yeah this week I’m going to relax. I’m going to have two days with no exercise (this will be interesting as I’ll use my excuse ‘ah but I’m only going for a walk or a jog that isn’t really exercise *yeah it is but you know*) and I’m going to try and not stress about goal. The date in which I’d love to be at goal is over 2 months away if I don’t get it by then so what, it isn’t like the world is going to end or anything like that!

And more importantly I really don’t want to turn into sassy mouth Grá to my boyfriend again if the futures weigh in’s don’t go to plan! I’m building that bridge and getting over it!

Instead of trying to reach goal by a certain date I’m going to:

• Look forward to the 10km run in the dark I’m doing in November
• Look forward to the night in Tullamore with the girls from the Facebook unofficial weight watchers group
• Appreciate the fact that I look good in my clothes and even just standing in my underwear lol (in private don’t worry :P )

And who knows I may have a NSV like slipping into size 12 jeans soon enough :)

Goal will come in its own time and for now all I can do is enjoy my journey.

Today was a nice eye opener of a day and I went to my 20-20-20 class a little happier and more relaxed :)

*cheesy grin :D*

On a final note I now have a new favourite quote :)

Until next time,

Grá :)

P.S Have a great week :)

You look like a runner....

Hello everyone :)

Hope you are all having a great week so far :)

So what have I done this past week…?

Last Sunday I took part in the Evening Echo Women’s Mini Marathon in Cork. It was 4 miles and you could run, jog or walk it. When I started C25KM about 5 weeks back this was a mini goal that I had. I aimed to jog 80% of it and I did that so yay me :) I didn't care about the time I did it in or my pace once I kept going, the stitch in my side slowed me down for awhile but I got going again :) I haven’t had a chance to go for a jog since Sunday thanks to the weather so I've just been going to fitness classes but will try to get back to it maybe this Sunday.

And look at the really cute medal I got :)

Got to have a good catch up with some friends I hadn't seen in ages after the race. Niamh, is a good friend who I met when I worked in Cork and we hadn't seen each other since May and I just loved how when I saw her the first thing she said was ‘girl you look so skinny’ I was like yay. I'm not skinny but you know what she meant :)

Another little highlight was when we were getting ready to start the race we were trying to figure out if we were at the right place for starting etc and a woman just turned around and in the middle of talking to us she said ‘you look like a runner anyway’ I know it is something really small and maybe you’ll think it is silly but I had a silly smile on my face after that…me…look like a runner…LOL :)

A good jog followed by a yummy Subway Ham salad :D

Oh and this is a picture of me (in the pink) and my friend and a fellow weight watcher *who is at gold may I add and doesn't she look great* Teresa before the race began :)

The rest of my week has been fairly boring! Had to get back into study mode which is hard especially when you have to study at home and I find distractions all the time but I need to focus focus FOCUS :D Had a fun Zumba class on Monday and Wednesday, was fun to get back to dancing like crazy and just having fun!

Tuesday I had a personal training session (I got a really REALLY good cheap deal online for it) and I made myself go to a cardiobells class (30 mins spinning/30 mins kettlebells) before hand and I have to say it was just fantastic. I didn't want to go but after I finished everything I felt amazing :)

I had my weigh in today, a day earlier than usual, as I am teaching tomorrow (yay, I can’t wait). But…yesterday I got the feeling that I would have a gain, I felt bloated and just heavy. A reason for it just not food/drink related. So I prepared myself for it and kept positive. Had a gain of 2lbs!!! I was a little shocked as I wasn't expecting that much but I felt HUGE this morning!

While I was a little down afterwards I made myself remember how far I’ve come. The 2lb gain still means I’ve lost 5st 1.5lbs and I’m 10.5lbs from goal. It is a blip and I will have the 2lbs plus more please god down next week! Mother Nature just got to do her thanggggg for now :D

Soooo what have I learned this week?

I’ve learned to…

appreciate myself more.

be more confident in my own skin.

be happy with the results of whatever I do be it a jog or my WI results.

I spend soo much time being hard on myself even when I do so many positive things that I don’t give myself enough praise. I still look in the mirror and see someone who is bigger than what I actually am. I want to change how I see myself. I am no longer the ‘’big one in the room’’.

I am me….I am Gráinne….I am proud…. :D

And I think we all need to learn to love ourselves a little bit more. We need to celebrate every success, the small ones and the big ones :)

Now I must go and get ready for some spin/core time :)

Have a lovely weekend guys :)

Until next time,

Grá :)

Honey I'm home....

Happy Friday the 13^th everybody :)

Another week coming to a close – is it me or is 2013 just flying by? I mean Tesco are well and truly stocked up on the scandalously high PP Christmas treats…feels like the tree only came down a short while ago!

Anywho, I hope everyone had a great week both in general but also weight watcher wise! All the lovely mammies and daddies back to routine now the lovely kiddies are back to school, the cooler weather oh and the RAIN!

Personally, I had a good week! Only arrived home from the Netherlands yesterday morning, was like a zombie on the aircoach trip from Dublin to Cork but I had a little stash to keep me busy :D

While away I stuck to the WW plan I’d say about 96% of the time, I continued my 30 day squat challenge and also got a few jogs in. But, for some reason I had a horrible feeling inside that I may actually be up in weight at my WI today. I didn't deserve to be but I was really REALLY worried as I just couldn't handle seeing a gain! So much so I nearly stopped myself using my dailies yesterday and living on zero foods…don’t worry I copped on fairly lively when I saw the air hostess was selling rice krispie cereal bars….got 2 ;)

So I enjoyed a nice relaxing evening when I got home, was very tired so I felt I needed my beloved Sky+, I know it had missed me soo much :P Oh course 10pm came and I realized ‘awh you dope Grá, you’ve been diet drinks all day no bloody water and the WI tomorrow’ needless to say 2 1lt bottles were filled fairly lively with a dash of sugar free Mi-Wadi tropical! Felt I was going to blow when I dragged myself upstairs to bed!

Got myself up and lay in bed pondering about the ‘what if I was up’ scenario, didn't like the thoughts but I got dressed and I was like ‘damm girl you look slimmer anyway’ so I did what I did before when I thought I would be up but felt slimmer if that makes sense, I took a photo :) When I did this before a WI about a month back I thought I was going to be up…I was down 5lbs…so maybe taking the photo was good luck ;)

Hopped in my little Yaris and drove to Mitchelstown to face those scales! Was really looking forward to seeing my leader and all the girls despite the outcome! The slow mount of the scales happened, I had my head down unable to look at the screen for the fear of a +…..I was down 1lb! I was actually down ‘’Do a little dance’’ :P I then worked out that I am 8.5lbs away from GOAL……like 8.5…..that is sooo close!!! Surely I will achieve it by November 28^th so I can ring in my 23^rd birthday in style J

'I'm so excited and I just can't hide it'

I guess what this rant is trying to put across is that we all have events/holidays and so forth in which we fear that we don’t have the willpower to stick to the plan, we say ‘awh well what is the point I'm just going to have a gain’! We can all still enjoy ourselves without overdoing it, you just need to be savvy about your choices!

Temi and I went to Amsterdam for the day on Wednesday. I had 26PP left for the day after my breakfast. I’d have been happy to have gone to Subway and get a ham salad bowl with light mayo for 5PP but I knew this would not satisfy Temi as my goodness can that boy eat and eat and not gain, but in saying that he eats good filling foods! Anyway I had to make a choice when we entered this adorable little steakhouse…would I say ‘screw the PP’s’ or ‘right let’s see how I can have a nice WW friendly meal’. The poor waiter was asked to give us a ‘few more minutes’ about 5 times as I just couldn't decide. The final decision was to start with a delicious starter of prawn skewers with a dash of sweet chilli sauce on a bed of salad YUM

Followed by a lovely grilled chicken salad on a bed of salad with a side order of chips *forgot to take a pic of the chips, literally about 6 of them but soo yum* :)

Oh and a sneaky strawberry daiquiri...I was on holidays after all ;)

I had all this for 23PP and had 3PP left over to have some porridge when we got back home oh and lots of fruit J

I had a great holiday…I didn't feel food deprived…I exercised as much as I could…I had fun…I felt confident and I'm still 1lb lighter J

If I can do it so can you!

Hope everyone will have a lovely weekend, I'm taking part in my first ever official ‘I am going to jog this’ race on Sunday in Cork City! Looking forward to it but my only aim is to keep jogging no matter what the pace!

Now I'm off to make some spiced carrot and cauliflower soup…NOM! 

Click on this link for the recipe --- > http://www.lulabellaskitchen.com/1/previous/8.html

Until next time,

Grá :)

Lets start at the beginning....

 ''The thousand mile march starts with the first step'' ~ Lao Tse 

I feel a little silly for writing a blog entry! I mean, it's me, Grá, why would anyone have a desire to read what I say!? *confidence girl don't shy away*! 

It was a comment in passing a few days ago that got me thinking about starting a blog, I mean I LOVE to talk...actually rant is the more appropriate word I think:D I'm passionate about a few small things in life and weight watchers is one of those things!

As the title states 'lets start at the beginning'....

I was always a 'big girl', a big *but also super cute if I do say so* baby. I am the youngest of 4 and the only girl and I was the only one to have a weight problem, I always say I have 3 drop dead handsome brothers with ridiculous lean well built physiques. People would comment 'Good god you don't look related to your brothers' and I'd always think in my head 'why just because I'm fat, can you not see past that?'.

I had the confidence of a queen but in actual fact it was a false confidence. I was friends with everyone, I was always a great laugh to be around but in private I was unhappy but how did I deal with it....I ate that's how...in private....late at night when everyone was in bed...any pocket money was used to buy junk as sweets/crisps were not something that appeared in the Ó Duinnín household very often apart form the annual birthday parties.

I have great family and my brothers who are 7/10 years my senior always looked out for me and sometimes may have tried to gently help me curb my weight gain with little suggestions....but you see I didn't take suggestions well, they upset me as I am a person who will only commit to something when it clicks in my own head that it is time!

That is exactly what happened on Monday May 24th 2010 when I was 19 and had just finished my first year in University. I was at a First Holy Communion of my friends sibling. Someone made a simple comment about another overweight girl and myself, about how we must be sisters...I didn't even know the girl...why did that individual think we were related...? Because we were both F.A.T!

I arrived home that evening and asked my mother to drive me (I was only learning at the time) to my local town to I could attend the weight watchers meeting! She (my mother) was a former WW member back in 1989 where her mantra was 'Feel fine for '89' and because of this I was always aware of WW while not in a lot of detail. So along I went and I made myself look as well as I could, hair nice, make up nice and a nice outfit. I met the lovely leader Valerie and she prompted me to step up on the scales...at 5ft 8.5in I had a starting weight of 17st 8lbs...I got off the scales and Valerie said 'you don't seem too surprised by that number' I wasn't, at the back of my head I always knew!  

 This is a before/after image -- I am now approx 9lbs lighter than that 'after pic'  :-)

I loved it from the moment I got off the scales, I was surrounded by all this new information and these great colourful booklets filled with wonderful tips about how to make the Points system (this was the system being used at the time) work for you! I arrived home so happy that evening it was like the black cloud that was hanging over me had been lifted! Suddenly I wanted to know everything I could about WW! Oddly I didn't take note really of my goal weight as I said 'lets see how this goes' I didn't think in my head 'you have 5/6/7 stone to lose' it was a day by day thing! I adored the trackers (and I still do). I loved writing down every single thing I ate and drank it was almost liberating in a strange way! 

I had a family wedding in Sweden 5 days after I joined WW so I sadly knew I couldn't have my traditional first week WI but I was DETERMINED to be down the following Monday when I got back from Sweden. I had a fantastic first 3 days then Sweden came along with the odd hick up as having to go to Burger King as there was no other place to eat etc etc but my god I almost threw a tantrum at having to go there, something a few weeks beforehand which I would have never done like 'Hello Junk Food come to me please'!

Also I felt like a Heifer at the wedding *I love using the word 'heifer' no idea why perhaps it is just from growing up on a dairy farm* so this spurred me on even more.

I arrived home from Sweden and the following Monday I had my first official 'on the WW plan' WI and I was down....9lbs :) I had gotten out of the 17's and into the 16's I literally fell off the scales with joy especially as I had told Valerie all about the BK visit! From there on in there was no turning back, it was constant losses, bar one week where I had a 0.5lb gain as I had a repeat exam in college, and by September I had 4st down. I returned to Galway for my 2nd year and I was greeted by comments about how 'amazing' and 'unreal' I looked...Those simple words helped reinforce the proud feeling I had having the courage to take a step in the right direction.

I adjusted to attending WW in Galway and lost a further 9lbs by the time May 2011 came around...my weight at that time was 12st 12.5lbs..then I went on my first holiday. without my parents. to Malta with a group of 8 friends from Uni. Gained 4lbs, was okay BUT.....for the next 2 years I spent my time gaining and losing the same 10lbs. I never saw the 12's again and was constantly around 13st 4lbs but then I graduated and took a year out to work in a call centre in Cork city, which I commuted to each day totalling 140km per day! Bad hours with the commute took their toll and WW wasn't attended however it was always in the back of my mind so I never really went 100% crazy...but at one stage I got to 14st...sweet lord good god no!!!Was back in the 13's fairly lively...paid about 400e for personal training...lost a stone then halfway through my program the place shut down due to bankruptcy and boom money gone and another big BOOM I went from 13st 3lbs to 13st 10bs in about 10 days.

Within these 2 years also I found a new love in the form of Zumba (Link)! My best friend as I call it as I just smile and sweat happily though each class..Also spinning was taken on along with many others and Oh I met my gorgeous boyfriend Temi also and so far we've spent a great 2 years together and hopefully it shall continue :)

So I got content, my clothes fitted, I was at most a size 14, I could look good on a night out, I wasn't horrifically large but I always wanted to get back to WW 100%, I wanted my gold card but most importantly I wanted the opportunity to become a leader if I could.

Fast forward to 2013

Primary Teaching has always been my calling in life however sadly I lacked a few points in the LC way back in 2009, so I went to Galway and graduated with a 2.1 Honors Bachelor of Commerce Degree which I loved every minute of but my aim was to get accepted into the H. Dip in Arts in Primary Education with Hibernia College Dublin/St. Pats/Mary I. And in March of this year that finally happened, I could not believe it, I got in like I actually got it! It was then I decided my job would have to be given up when I started the programme in April as I wanted to give it my all and frankly the job wasn't worth the stress! This was also my excuse to get back to WW as I always wanted to be a HEALTHY and FIT teacher, I want to promote healthy living in some way to my future pupils, I know what it is like to be the 'fat kid' to be bullied so I would love if I could help other children who I was once like. This was the motivation I needed..I went to the Friday morning meeting in my local town *at this stage Valerie was no longer a leader* and met Tracey who has to be the most energetic, bubbly and normal person I have ever met, you can't help but smile when talking to her! I weighed in at 13st 9lbs and for 3 weeks I attended meetings and had losses each week then boom something stopped me going *perhaps fear of the scales* for 5 weeks then I went back 2lbs up *not bad* then had a weekend away for my boyfriends birthday so missed so more WI's but finally around the first week of June I was back 100% at 13st 6lbs and since then I have just ploughed on and now *as of my last WI Aug 30th, on hols at the moment* I was 12st 5.5lbs!!!Officially the LIGHTEST I have ever been, I never thought I'd get into the 12's again! Now I am aiming for goal which I would love to get to by November 28th so I can start my 23rd year on earth as a happy determined GOLDIE! But if it takes a little longer I will survive, for now every time I see Temi, who now lives in the Netherlands I want to be at least 2lbs lighter than the last time and with this mentality I will get to gold and hopefully I can finally be happy with myself.

The most important thing in which I've learned is that we all have our my ups and downs and my god have I had my down's but I am PROUD that through those tough 2 years I never gained back what I lost! I yo-yoed within 10lbs so this to me shows that I will NEVER EVER be OBESE again! I will never go past the 12's either! I WILL be HAPPY, I will be HEALTHY, I will be FIT but most importantly I will be me! 

I realize that this entry may seem somewhat well...all over the shop but I'm not a person who is full of any great words of wisdom or someone who is good with words in general, I am just Gráinne a girl who loves the rant and rave and go off topic 50 times in one conversation! I'm a regular girl on a lifetime journey with me,myself & I with the end goal of hopefully one day being happy within myself.

I also want to give a little mention to a fabulous unofficial group on Facebook 'Weight Watchers Ireland' as since I found the group by accident in July I have been even more motivated to do well and offer much needed support and praise to fellow WW members :)

In moments of weakness this group of people have helped me stay on track and for that I thank you :)

Now I must get back to eating my big bowl of blueberries while enjoying my last few days in the Netherlands before jetting back to 'sunny' Ireland.

I hope you enjoyed reading my totally unstructured piece and hopefully I will have something to add in the coming weeks be it just a daily update or a recipe or just a general 'stay positive' post.

Until next time,

Grá :-)